101 Ways to Annoy Lisa Cuddy
by HappyPurpleBunnies
Summary: House is bored. What else is there to do other than annoy Cuddy. Just a bit of humor brought out by my boredom. Please Read and Review.


101 Ways to Annoy Lisa Cuddy

It was a slow week for the Diagnostics Department at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. No interesting cases to be solved, and with Cameron and Chase at a conference, only one duckling to annoy. Doctor Gregory House was going stir crazy! So being House, he did the one thing he did best, he annoyed Cuddy.

He walked in an hour and a half late for work wearing only board shorts, a Hawaiian t-shirt, and his helmet for his motorcycle. He made his way straight to the office of Lisa Cuddy; Dean of Medicine.

She was standing by the door, hanging up her coat; once she noticed him she silently questioned his intelligence. "House, what are you wearing?"

"What?" He asked, "I'm feeling summery."

"And the helmet?" Cuddy asked annoyed. Clearly he was going to a whole new level of weird.

"It's part of my astronaut training, obviously." House replied in a tone that clearly stated 'duh'.

Trying to direct the conversation elsewhere Cuddy asked: "Do you need anything, or are you just here to show off your new look? I'm busy House."

"Actually yes, I do need something. I was wondering if I could get off a little early today. You see, I have to meet with my private investigator…" "Why on earth do you need a private investigator!?" Cuddy interrupted in an exasperated manner.

"Because, silly, my buddy Wilson, you know, brown hair, funny looking? Any who, he has a date tonight. With that really hot nurse from the maternity ward. I'm getting him to video tape it. It'll be hilarious." House replied.

"I swear you're getting dumber." Cuddy muttered, then added. "You are not getting out of clinic duty. And stay out of Wilson's personal life!"

"Oh, you're no fun!" House whined, limping out of her office. Stopping at the door, he turned and smirked.

"What?" Cuddy eyed him suspiciously as she walked over to her chair. As she sat down, you could hear the sound of a whoopie cushion from beneath her. "Real mature House." She mumbled at the self-satisfied grin on his face. He just replied with a look that clearly said 'I know' and made his way out of her office.

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Two hours later, Cuddy was in the clinic, making sure things were getting done. As she was scurrying around, House just happened to show up with a can of Lysol disinfectant spray.

"House! Whatever you're up to, I don't have time!" She yelled as she felt him walk up behind her.

"Don't worry Cuddles; I'm just making sure the hospital's all nice and sanitary.

Deciding to ignore him, Cuddy started moving again, walking over to the front desk, placing her hands on it to talk to nurse Brenda. As she lifted up her hands, House sprayed the disinfectant on the spot her hands had vacated.

"What are you doing?" Cuddy asked him, on the verge of yelling at him again.

"What? I'm just making sure that the patients are safe from getting Cuddy-itis. It's a horrible disease. You turn into an over-controlling witch." "House!" Cuddy warned, not in the mood. Going on with her work.

House followed her the entire time, spraying every single thing she touched. Saying 'ew' and having a disgusted look on his face as he did so.

He got bored after an hour or so, and decided to see some patients. Might as well act like a good boy. It's a good distraction tactic.

So he sat there, in exam room 2, seeing snotty nosed children and over-paranoid parents until he was free to leave.

Walking to the front entrance, ready to leave, he saw Cuddy make her way to the door as well. He pause, waiting for his next trick be put in motion, making sure he stayed out of sight.

As Cuddy walked through the front doors of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, she let out a startled yelp as a bucked of pudding spilled on her from above. Not even having to look up at who was responsible, she let out an annoyed yell of, "HOUSE!"

END

**A/N: Just a short little one shot I thought would be a cute idea. My inspiration was from a list I found on the internet titled 101 ways to be annoying, hence the title of my story. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review! =D**


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